The basics though. Always the basics. Dark suit. White shirt. Polished shoes. That’s the recipe. You know it, I know it. But then the brain starts: tie or no tie? pocket square? both? neither? And it spirals until the simple becomes complicated. Funny thing is, less is always more. Except except when you start second-guessing yourself and end up fussing over the tie for twenty minutes.

Tuxedos. Whole different rabbit hole. Black tie? Okay, tuxedo, end of discussion. Except not really, because I still wonder if it looks too much. Or maybe not enough. They feel different though. You put one on and suddenly you’re the polished version of yourself, the movie version. (Not the tired, half-asleep version you see most mornings.) To be fair, tuxes are rare, but when I wear one, it feels like borrowing confidence for the night.

Shoes, oh man, shoes. People pretend they don’t notice but lies. Everyone notices. A scuffed pair ruins the whole thing. I’ve shined mine twice before an event because I didn’t trust the first shine. Accessories? Always tricky. Cufflinks, pocket square, tie bar too many and you look like you raided a store window. One is enough. Two maybe. Belts with tuxedos? Don’t even start. They don’t belong, period.

And then the rules. White tie, black tie, black tie optional (what does that even mean), semi-formal, business formal it’s exhausting. White tie is basically extinct. Black tie equals tux, easy enough. Semi-formal? The messy middle ground. Everyone interprets it differently. One guy shows up in a blazer, another in a dark suit, and nobody knows who’s right. Honestly, I’ve learned to just read the invite slowly. Twice. Most of the clues are there we just skim and guess.

Mistakes. Too many to count. I’ve made half of them myself. Wore a suit that was too light once stood out instantly, not in a good way. Fit problems everywhere. Too loose looks lazy, too tight looks painful. Overdressing though? Never really a problem. Nobody whispers “he looks too sharp.” If anything, people wish they’d put in a little more effort themselves. And maybe that’s the point formal wear isn’t magic, it’s just clothes stitched together in a way that makes us feel like we belong. And belonging, honestly, that’s all most of us want.